Is it too late for a self-realization post? hehe. but anyway, here goes:
It’s half of the first month of the year already and it seems like this is the only time I can really talk about what’s going through my mind lately. Hence, the title of this post and this comfy outfit.
As I welcome 2018 with open arms and joy, I thought that going through this process to come clean and have fresh start is really hard and frustrating. Because to be honest, I’m really uninspired and I just don’t know where to begin to start creating something new again and be different.
I know a lot of you guys think that social media is such a fun thing to be inline with but things can really get stressful at times and worse, it can burn you out. Though before you guys say anything, I appreciate each and everyone of you, who continues to support me in anyway you guys can. I may not be able to reply to all your comments or messages but know dearly that I thank you guys for it. But lately and for the past months, I feel exhausted of keeping up. It’s such a race and I don’t like that feeling. I feel like everyone just want to be in it and get those numbers up high. (Which don’t get me wrong, brands/PR companies they need numbers/stats. It’s important! No doubt.) But what happened to just sharing at your own pace and being all personal to everything you create? More importantly, what happened to me. I honestly got blinded. Before, a lot of my friends ask me why did I start blogging, I told them, because this is my passion, to be able to create something that I can help or share to an audience is such a fulfilling thing for me and never did I thought that it would turned as part of my career growth. I never thought I can somehow call this little project of mine before a “job” now. Which I am really thankful for.
Obviously, I’m just pressured, tired, and no longer driven, because living in a fast-paced and digital age is crazy and it gets crazier. I just wanna be inspired again; inspired to create more and live more. As I reflect each day that had past by, I realized that I’m lacking so much of myself to just get out there and not worry. I feel like every time I wanna do something freely, I feel like I’m not the perfect fit for it. Maybe that’s a thing about it, when something is really important to you, you get nervous, you feel inadequate and every time you feel like there’s something missing to get it right. Well, I’m a human too, with feelings. It’s okay to encounter problems along the way, but it’s important recognize it as well. You don’t have to be alone on going over the solution to your difficulties, because to those people who personally know you will help you and even those people you’ll meet or have just met.
As much needed time off I want to waste, I feel like this worrying has to stop. I realized that the only thing that will help me or you become successful and fully happy with life is to stay focus on yourself and your own happiness. Don’t let the dark energy bring you down. As I always keen myself into being positive and tell my followers and readers about it, I, myself was almost lost to negativity it brought, I never did recognized it until now.
I got to change this. I have to. Every new year is always a perfect time to get that clean slate up and running again and this is the year for it. Well for me, maybe for you too. From now on, I’m shifting my priorities; as for the people who know me closely and personally, I’m now applying for a job, a regular job to be exact. No more excuses. If ever I get in, I’d be the most happiest person ever because this job, that I’m going to apply for has always been a dream of mine. (I’d like to go over it with you guys soon, praying everything will go well, which I hope it will. *fingers crossed*)
I want to be honest that being in the blogging industry and also a freelance creative will always have its perks and if you work hard enough it can take you to places. But we all know that not everything you see on my page is paid or monetize and as you get older, bills are also growing hahaha. Hence, get a regular job that you like and passionate about and still continue what you’re doing now. That’s what I’m going to do. Also I’m thinking of opening a business that something I’m passionate about. It sounds good, but I believe there’s a perfect timing to it. 😉
Not to worry everyone, I’m nowhere close to quitting being a blogger/freelance creative, (such a weird word for me to call myself one, as I neglected the responsibilities and duties being one.) but it’s never too late right? I promise (being a cooperative word for it) to never take this my so called “job” for granted and I promise to create, write, and publish more fulfilling contents for you guys. After all as I said, it’s the new year and I need you guys to help me do this and create endless possibilities it may offer. So if you have any suggestions for me to post or do, do let me know on the comment section down below.
Lastly, thank you for reading ’til the end. I just needed to put this here, we all want someone to hear us out. And we all know, as we try to be positive on the things we encounter, it’s very important to cut down the negative side to it. I want everyone to know that even your favorite blogger/s go through things and me putting it here for you guys to read may help you also recognize your own problem/s and help you get back on track.
Needless to say, there is a lot of to be thankful for. If you find this petty, I understand your side because I know there a lot of people who are suffering more with super duper huge problem/s at this time and I am one with them. 🙂
Best of luck for us this year and a belated Happy New Year everyone! Cheers! 😀